NLT and MKC made interesting points? ''...but he's so good at not bleeding'' What's that supposed to mean? ''HEY TCA'' What does that mean in the context of level 1231? SNY, I'm just as confused as you are.

"I am not on a blending jag but secretly I had some minimal imaginations and hopes for my panels, hopes now dashed, but that is the way we all know."

Please don't expect me to read your mind if you keep your ''minimal imaginations'' a secret.

"I am trying to make connections as to what TCA is referring to. Well ages ago he made a remark that EHO's friend looked like Beethoven, so I can see 20% of somehting there in that ...weird connection of whatever, the dolls? Who knows."

It's insulting to talk about someone indirectly when that person is present in the conversation. Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?

1231-a3 has got nothing to do with EHO's friend Berti. Louis Armstrong = Beethoven. Get it? That's why I didn't colorize the black-and-white Beethoven illustration. Because the photo of Satchmo is black-and-white. The background of 1231-a3 is the French Quarter of New Orleans. The two dolls belong to author Anne Rice, incidentally.

"Not everything has to have a connection, not everything has to be obvious... I am thinking - who the hell is that on the right? Carol Burnett or Carol Channing and what the hell doe she have to do with anything at all...."

That's a china doll. I'm amazed at how lifelike it looks. A real work of art. The red hair is beautiful. Maybe the doll is one of Satchmo's groupies. ;-)

I spent two hours trying to blend 1231-a2 and 1231-a3, and evidently failed totally. The French Quarter architecture in the backgroud is supposed to blend with the picture of the two young jazz musicians above. The dolls are dressed in clothes from that region.

I'm bleeding on the inside, MKC. You just can't see it. It's damaging my auto-immune system.

To sum up. I've made some shitty squares. Gridcosm has produced some shitty levels. Some of those shitty levels were created years before I began participating on the Grid. So I can't be blamed for all of the shitty Gridcosm levels. I've created good squares, and I've participated in good levels. I've even done some good blending. SNY, you've admitted that 3 out 10 of my squares are okay. If we were playing the sport of baseball, I'd be batting .300, which is a respectable batting average. But I'm not a good team player.

What am I going to do about it? With the heroic assistance of Corel tech support, I reinstalled Painter 6 a few days back--I'll start doodling with my Wacom pad and digital pen. I'll post the results to my WELL.com home page. The idea is sort of a doodle blog. The finished product will be like the Far Side, or maybe it will be like Peanuts, or maybe it will be an illustrated play like Picasso's Lysitrata, or maybe it will be goofy Flash animation. Who knows. But at first the work will be more artistic and less concrete. Just flowing thoughts and fluid lines. The whole process will be transparent. You'll be able to follow my daily progress if you want to.

However, I WON'T QUIT Gridcosm altogether. I'll ambush the Grid occasionally. Once or twice a month from here on out.

"so I said ''No, it's just that I've been here a lot of times. It's got nothing to do with whether or not I'm crazy about you. So shut the fuck up."

Crazy about me? MKC, are you gay? Meaning no disrespect if you are. But you should be told that I'm not gay.

If you'll indulge one last digression. I happen to believe that Oscar Wilde was persecuted because he was 6' 3

" tall--not because he was a flamboyant Irish homosexual in Victorian London. I'm also 6' 3"

BTW, 1232-a2... Whack-a-mole, SNY? Sheesh. Here's some free advice. Make sure you're not just whacking off. You're an artist with lots of potential, but you're over thirty. Don't waste another ten years like I did. Take it from a bozo who knows.