"I think I got confused by the lolita tag. I thought maybe you had gotten the meaning wrong, but now that I see you went to Pitzer"

In reality, Ellen's mother did not attend Pitzer College. I didn't really impregnate her. I made the whole imaginary thing up. My legal staff made me say that.

"So now you discovered that you may be a father and the first thing you want to do is marry her off to some dork named Steve? Your chromosones must be damaged dude."

Let's just say that the party began before Ellen was twinkle in her father's eyes. Steven is the perfect choice. A match made in heaven. Heaven only knows what his parents were on when he was conceived.

Why do you think they call it Darwin? ;-)